I just realized why I can’t allow myself to kiss a girl. It isn’t because of her bits or her long hair or her makeup. It’s because she’s a different species. I don’t know what’s going through her head. I can’t read her. I can’t figure out what she wants when her brown eyes pass over me. I want to kiss her but when do I lean in? I know a man’s body. It’s a replica of mine. Hers is foreign territory.  Where do I begin to touch? What if I don’t touch the right stuff? I know what he likes. What if everything I do to her is wrong? I hope she doesn’t laugh.

I’ve kissed a girl’s mouth before. She actually asked if she could kiss me. It was tiny. So petite; so small.  Her minuscule tongue felt like a tiny snail looking for love. I touched her body and she had layers of undergarments underneath her cheap dress. It was weird. Men only have one layer. It turned me off. 

She also seemed to want me to lead. I’m not much of a leader. If I’m going to lead, I’ll do it myself, by myself. She wouldn’t understand the soft chewy center of me. She wouldn’t understand the “gay” qualities about me. But I don’t want to love her forever. I’d like just another kiss, in today’s time, to see what it’s like to kiss a girl.


She closes her eyes every time because she’s still afraid of trains. They never had any in her native land. Especially these that go underneath the ground.
She rides the train everywhere. She closes her eyes with her grocery bags huddled at her feet and imagines the heat of home. She says a little prayer before the train pulls out. She can see her homeland inside of her eyelids; she’ll be alright now.
She’s an island queen. Hair pulled back severely into a tight coil. No strand of hair is free. She looks like her mother. She’ll eventually turn into her. She’ll cry every night for ever doing her momma wrong because she knows the end is here and she’s starting to feel what her momma felt near the end.


She never made lemonade in the summertime. Curtains drawn closed all afternoon long. The house was quiet; every movement was a ticking bomb of sound. He learned how to move like a ninja. He felt unsure whenever she was in a good mood because it never lasted long. He tried so hard to keep her calm. A storm would drop over her eyes and his momma was gone.